Read This or I’ll Slap You

I’m hormonal as hell.  Menopause sucks scissors.

I’m hot flashing and night sweating and crying and bitching and yelling and blaming and wanting to kill something.

I’m fat and bloated and hot and cold and horny and you better not touch me and then I’m happy and sorry and apologizing and crying and eating all the chocolate and drinking all the beer and wine and crying more.

I want your attention and you better give it to me but you better leave me the hell alone if you know what’s good for you after you give me more chocolate and wine and tell me that I don’t look fat and that’s an order.

I love you all.


9 responses to “Read This or I’ll Slap You

  1. I’m very glad I decided to check in and see how things are with you. Really. No, you look fine. Really. I’ll just be over here (pointing to random spot on U.S. map).

  2. Been there, done that, sister. My sympathies and a pitcher of margaritas are on their way.

  3. How come I just found this now? HUH? HUH?????

  4. I guess we are equally clueless.

  5. Well, this certainly sums it up for me.DITTO to all.
    Menopause made me realize there is NO way God is a woman…
    I’d trade a once a year or two prostrate exam for this any time.
    Love your blog…

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