Hawk Hunting

I’ve had the problem with the blasted beasts before.

Last year, a Cooper’s Hawk frequented Gus’ heated water dish, AKA birdbath. A nearby bush which provided refuge for an entire flock of sparrows became its personal restaurant. My bird phobia being what it is wouldn’t allow that to happen. The hawk might have eaten a sparrow in front of me, or worse yet, left part of the little dead birdie body on the patio for me to view all day. His appearance on a regular basis told me that he found the Sparrow Diner to have fine cuisine on the days that I wasn’t there. Much beating on the glass and screaming at the beast made him leave on the days that I was home, but he was tenacious and wouldn’t go far until he got tired of my interference over a period of about an hour. When my husband was home, he was a little more aggressive and shot at the tail feathers with a BB gun that we keep in the mud room closet. Bye-bye, birdie.

I thought we had the problem beat. He didn’t come back.

His cousin, the Red-tailed Hawk, however, is new to the diner.

He began showing up on my patio about two weeks after we put out the birdfeeder. Easy pickings for a hungry predator. Window banging didn’t seem to faze him and that sent me into a cold sweat. I couldn’t just sit there while he decapitated a bird before my eyes, and I couldn’t turn my back on him and know that he was indulging in sparrow sushi right by my window. Do I dare try the BB gun? I was hesitant because I’m not that great of a shot and then I might have a gigundo dead bird on my patio to look at all day. I didn’t want to kill him; I just wanted him to eat elsewhere.

What to do? What to do?

I turned around in the mud room and looked for something to throw at him. Nothing appeared suitable and I finally knew what I had to do. I dropped the top window down to provide a steadying surface as I’d seen my husband do when he used the BB gun, picked up my weapon and shot the living hell out of it with about a gallon of water from my Super Soaker XL6000 with Arctic Blast Capabilities. He flew away and didn’t come back for several days, at which time I blasted the hell out of him again. I’m hesitant to say he’s gone for good, as it’s too early in the season. Regardless, he hasn’t been spotted recently.

I’m always finding new uses for our Super Soaker. No home should be without one.

10 responses to “Hawk Hunting

  1. I think you should carry it with you EVERYWHERE. On walks (there might be birds), in the grocery store (there might be birds), in the shower (there might be birds)…

  2. Jacks, I live in a freaking aviary. They’re everywhere! You know Andrea? She just hot hit with one in the grocery store. It’s not safe to leave the house any more!

  3. What hit Andrea in the grocery store? A bird? Dang.

    Put some food coloring in that super soaker and you will know if it’s the same bird or if you have an infestation. If nothing else it could help you think of it as something less dangerous like a robin or a bluebird maybe.

  4. Andrea said it was bigger than a wren but smaller than an eagle. I’m guessing she got a sparrow.

    I like the idea about food coloring. Since we use the Super Soaker on the neighbor’s cats, too, it might give them an inkling that they’re up to no good when they let them out.

    I’m just not sure what to do when we have to use it on our own dog to shut her up.

  5. HA! Did you ever actually see a sparrow meal happen before your eyes?

  6. No, I’ve been spared. Honestly, I couldn’t handle something like that. I’d be screaming and throwing things at it.

    I’m really weird, I know.

  7. Hmm… I’d be afraid of a hawk, and that’s a bird and I’m not afraid of birds like you are. My guess is that you need an eagle to get rid of the hawk. But what do I know.

  8. Pan, we have eagles around here, but, believe it or not, the sparrows chase them away.

    A couple of days ago, I was…ahem…treated to a hawk dining on a sparrow under my window. The sparrow was literally screaming! I was seriously traumatized. Seriously.

    We now have the bush that the sparrows like to hide in covered with chicken wire. They can get in, but the hawks can’t. We also have a gazing ball (*gag*) and a mirror by the bush to hopefully chase the hawks away. I can’t handle another treat like that one.

  9. Oh. Poor sparrow. Poor Ina.

    I feel your pain. I had a hawk living around the house when I was in Minnesota. The damned thing would pick up gophers and eat them in the trees. We couldn’t live in the backyard because it was raining half eaten gophers. Ever have one fall into your barbecue pit? Not pretty.

  10. Oh, Pan! If I’d had that experience, I’d probably never be able to use my back yard again. This really made me gag with my coffee!

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