My Recipe. Eat It.

 

 

There’s an annoying trend on the internet these days.  Maybe some of you have been unfortunate enough to experience it, also.  I’m talking about the dreaded recipe exchange.  This is the kind of thing that used to be in a chain letter in the days before the web. 

 

The premise is simple enough.  Write out your easiest recipe; something you know off of the top of your head.  Send it to the name on the top of the list and add your name to the bottom.  In essence, you’ll collect 3,784 recipes in four days if no one breaks the chain.  (“Because, after all…we can all use new recipes!”)  *gag*

 

The biggest problem with this would be a) refer to the first line of this article.  It’s annoying!  And b) by sending me this, someone is implying that I want to cook. 

 

After careful consideration, I’ve decided that instead of ignoring all of these pleas for my favorite “off the top of my head” recipe, I would post it here, then just send everyone a link to this article when I get the next annoying request.  Given the time of year and the impending necessity of pork and sauerkraut in the very near future, I decided to share my very easy recipe for what we call Sauerkraut Pie.  It’s not really a pie so just quit going “eewww!”, be quiet and read.

 

First thing you do is brown some sausage.  The kind that comes in a roll, like the Bob Evans stuff, works fine.  I don’t know how much it weighs.  Like a pound or something?  Whatever, just buy a roll and brown it.

 

Next, drain the fat and put it in a casserole dish.  I don’t know the size.  I use a square one.  Figure it out, okay?  Whatever size you need to hold all this crap will work just fine.  Cover it with a can of drained sauerkraut.  I probably should have told you to drain it before, but I didn’t, so deal with it.  Go check your email while you wait.  I don’t know what size can.  One of those smaller ones, but not too small; just a can.  Maybe you like more kraut, so adjust it whenever you feel like it.  If your dish fails, you can’t blame me.

 

Step three would be where you cover the sausage and kraut with a container of Bob Evans mashed potatoes.  Just one of those regular sized ones.  I don’t know if they come in gigundo size or not, but don’t get one if they do.  Actually, you’ll want to take the potatoes out of the container before you cover the other stuff with it.  I like to heat them a little in the microwave or let them come to room temperature before I use them because they’re easier to manage.  Bring the potatoes to the edges of the casserole dish and kind of seal the edges of them to the dish.  Brush the spuds with melted butter and sprinkle the top with parmesan cheese.  I don’t know how much butter or parmesan.  Just some, okay?

 

Bake it at somewhere around 350-400 degrees for like forty-five minutes or an hour.  It’s done when it starts to brown.  Eat it.  Yum.

 

Oh, I probably should have told you to take some Gas-X or Beano or Pepcid before you eat it so you don’t ruin everyone else’s evening.

Advertisements

20 responses to “My Recipe. Eat It.

  1. Oh. Dear.

    The next time I get the restless munchies, I’m gonna remember this recipe. I’m also gonna remember the farting-’round-the-campfire scene in “Blazing Saddles.”

  2. I came to cabbage very late in life, and kraut not at all. Sad, when you’re married to a Czech. Oh well. If we bought and ate kraut, I would make this, I promise.

  3. Mentioning Beano inspires me. I’m not going to cook this recipe. I didn’t read the whole thing carefully. I did like the turns of phrase as you were describing it though. Little things like, “I don’t know what size can.” I like that in person that could have been accompanied by a gesture but in text it can’t be and so it is ridiculous — it would even be annoying if I was going to cook something that would require a special trip to the grocery store for ingredients that I don’t have on hand and the beauty of that given the way the post starts is … well … beautiful. So, I’m going to use one of those funny emoticon things that will somehow magically convey my mood but not really well. Here goes: 🙂

    See. Am I a grinning stick figure? Well. Yeah. I am but what kind of grin? You’ll just have to figure that out by how long this comment is. I don’t know that that’s really evidence of anything though. I don’t know how long it is. I’m not done with it yet. I do know that I’ve strayed dreadfully from the topic matter at hand. But, I’m under the impression that here and now, that’s a good thing. Where did I get that impression you ask? Well. No. You didn’t ask. At least not while I’m typing this. You might ask as your reading this. You might wonder all sorts of things. Why is the sea boiling hot? Do pigs really have wings? No. They don’t. Not unless their winged pigs and that’s just weird.

    I seem to have lost even my own thread of what the heck I was going to rant about now. So, I’m off zooming to other places through the intertoobs.

  4. tigereye ~ You really can ignite those, you know. That could be good for a few yuks if you and John get bored.

    fluffy ~ I don’t expect anyone to make it. I just wanted everyone to read it.

    BGG ~ I’m going to try a new emoticon. 😛

  5. BGG ~ It only worked a little. I’m supposed to be sticking out my tongue, but that’s all it will let me do.

    Shawn ~ Deep.

    Jackers! ~ Does this look familiar? 🙂

  6. I’m going to try several emoticons.

    🙂 :^) :] 😛 😕 😦 :~)

  7. Okay. That didn’t work.

  8. Hmmph. I suppose there’s a table of these somewhere but that just isn’t as fun as guessing right.

  9. Aha! I forgot completely about semi-colons. 😉 ;P ;? ;-( :}

  10. It seems that WordPress has, also.

  11. Hey!
    This is over here.
    I thought of this piece today when my person went off to buy confectioners sugar and was perplexed by the amount (1 1/2 boxes instead of something more exact) (Math guy, I thought to myself). I was comfortable with the measurement (just a rectangular box) but when he came home with an enormous bag of powdered sugar I got a little panicky. “How are we going to know how much to put in?!” I asked loudly,with an interrobang, visualizing the oncoming fluffy disaster. “It’s O.K. There are three boxes in a bag,” he said. Then, we laughed and laughed.

  12. Sounds like happy times and frivolity at the Other household! I’m glad my exacting directions came to mind!

  13. Have a deadpan Christmas Mom!

  14. It may or may not look familiar.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s