Ode to Tacky
February 23, 2009
Filed under bad poetry, humor, rant
Tags: bad neighbors, bad neighbors with plastic flowers in their gardens, bad poetry, plastic flowers, plastic flowers in the winter, tacky, ugly, ugly outdoor decor
Plastic flowers
Gracing my view
Rising up from the snow
Encourage my spew.
My lake view is obstructed
With piles of junked cars
Makes it hard not to wish
Your ass behind bars.
———–
Oh, heinous neighbor
Ye demented old hag
Must you show your patriotism
With a styrofoam flag?
Shoveled out by your children
Just to make room for more crap
Makes me fervently wish
To give you a bitch slap.
Your crap overfloweth
Your tack knows no bounds
It’s all made less bearable
By your howling hounds.
You think this is beautiful
Tasteful and fit
It’s hard to believe
You have pride in this shit.
*Sniff*
That’s some real purty poetry there, Ina.
Hey! I forgot to title this! I’ll be back!
There. That’s better.
Jacks, it was like I was channeling Elizabeth Browning. I was totally overwhelmed with the musicality of it all.
The tags are the best part!
I’m always surprised at how many views the tags can generate. I believe that’s how YOU found me, isn’t it?
Yup! And there sure must be a lot of people searching for “ugly outdoor decor”
They don’t need to search any further! I have it all right here, and I’m willing to give them her address.
I hope you’re planning your plantings. . . ugh. . .
LFC ~ Remember the Four O’Clocks all along the driveway last year? That blocked a lot of the view, and now that they’ve been there, there’s no way to ever get rid of them.
In fact, unless they tend their “garden” well, they’ll take that over, too.
I can’t even imagine their indoors…
I’ve been spared that, but my husband has had the unfortunate experience.
It seems that she’s preparing for Armageddon. This house is ginormous, and it only has the narrowest of paths that go from room to room. The rest is stocked, floor to ceiling, with crates of canned food. He said he recognized some labels from the Jolly Green Giant that he remembers from his childhood. (Keep in mind that we’re in our 50s!) I’m sure there’s not a can in the house that hasn’t reached its expiration date by at least fifteen years.
I have nightmares of the place exploding from the pressure in all of these cans, and our house being pelleted by nuclear peas.
That is truly scary.
Just passing by.Btw, your website have great content!
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Making Money $150 An Hour
Thanks, Pan!
Lenka, if you only knew the half of what living next to this woman is about!
Mike, thank you! I’m glad you enjoyed my content. Please come back soon!
I look forward to hearing all about it in future posts…