Its hideous presence annoyed her from the first time she visited what was to someday be her home.

It took up space in a cold and mechanical way on what could otherwise be a grand stairway.

It was a chairlift!

It was purchased by Kevin, prior to knowing Ina, for the purpose of serving snowbird, octogenarian parents on their stays there, three or four times a year.  Ina hated it.

It sat at the top of the stairs, impeding her every attempt to move past it.  The arms were at the perfect height for her short stature, and caught in the pocket of every item of clothing that she wore, ripping the pockets halfway off.  She knew it was only a matter of time before it sent her tumbling.

Tumbling down there.

Ina kept her mouth shut after the in-laws visited and she saw how necessary it was to get them up and down the stairs, as the only sleeping quarters and shower were located on the second floor.  Grudgingly, she knew it was really important for their safety.

Soon, however, the in-laws could no longer make the snowbird journey and settled in one place, and one place alone.  Ina thought this would be a good time to broach the subject of getting rid of the chairlift.  Kevin admitted they may not need it and gave some serious thought to getting rid of it.

Until Ina’s son broke his knee and came to stay followed by Kevin’s knee surgery.  The chairlift was uber-important again.  OK.  Maybe it was used in frivolous fun on a few drunken nights, too.

But, she remained pissed that she couldn’t get rid of it.

After the healing was done, she knew it was fruitless to bring up the subject of eliminating it again.  It was used, frequently, to move furniture.  Angry at herself for insisting on all of the changes upstairs, she acquiesced to its usefulness.

When decorating projects were finished, however, Kevin began using it to haul laundry baskets upstairs.  Ina was quietly livid.  If not for the encumbrance of the damn chairlift, laundry could go up by hand without a problem.  She bit her tongue.

But, the day finally came when the Evil Chairlift took its first victim.

Ina heard the racket in the next room and went running.  She was too late to catch the actual act, but it was recounted to her that it went something like this:

Kevin’s big feet tripped him up as he stepped around the chair, sending him ass over head over ass, down the stairs.

He ended up going down the stairs mainly on his back, head first.  He landed on his neck and freaked Ina out completely, as he already has a compromised c-spine.

Ina ran into the room, only to find him already at the bottom.  The nurse in her did an entire examination before allowing him to move.

A set of x-rays proved there were no broken ribs, as was initially feared.  He was bruised, battered and sore, but no major damage was done.

The chairlift comes out this weekend.

CAST

Kevin………..Elmo

Ina………..Minnie

Chairlift……….Satan

Shot on location on the stairs at the Young house.