While we were in Florida, there was this bird that came to hang out in the courtyard at the rehab center while we were visiting my mother-in-law.  Florida’s birds are really quite large and bold.  I give a bad review to the behavior of Florida’s birds.  I was a guest.  They should have left me alone.

So, anyhow, this bird just came walking up, bold as you please, and hung out in the area behind me. 
He was a rather large bird.  He might have been eighteen inches tall.  He had gross, long legs.  I was terrified, but I knew I owed it to my friends on the internet to document this beast.

This was about the time he decided to fly up onto the roof and survey his surroundings.  I’m not ashamed to admit that when he started flapping his wings, I ran across the courtyard, screaming.  All of the people with the broken legs and the stroke victims in the courtyard laughed at me.  I don’t think they realized how much danger we were all in.

Can’t you just see him pecking my eyes out with that spooky beak?

Then he flew back down and I ran and screamed again.  I couldn’t stop taking pictures, though.  I owed it to all of you.

He landed behind this bush and started making creepy movements with his neck.

That’s when I realized he was looking for lizards to eat, because that’s where the lizards were hanging out.  I guess it was good that he was eating lizards, although I only have problems with dead lizards.

Then he flew on top of the bush that was right behind me and I screamed and ran again.  I know he wanted to kill me.

Don’t lie.  I know you can see the evil and hunger in his beady little eye.

I managed to escape with my life, but barely.  I knew I had to make it back here to safety to fill the rest of you guys in on the dangers that lurk in Florida.

You’re welcome.